When I asked this question, most people wrote saying they didn't know, but they hoped I had the answer!

Here's what one woman says:

"Make sure he has a place to put all of his stuff. Give him

a desk, or a corner of the bedroom, that's his. Then he won't

dump stuff where you don't want it!".

Sounds like a good idea to me. Usually the reason we have

clutter piling up, after all, is because there's no natural

place for it to go.

So here's my quick answer (I go into this in much more detail

in the book):

First, remember: it's more important that your husband play

with your kids than that he clean. If he works long hours, he

may not have a lot of time at home. And the kids need him.

But that being said, if he's not working long hours (or if

his hours are as long as yours), it may seem fair that he

does help. You're probably right, but remember these things:

1. Nagging doesn't work and it drives him away. If he feels

judged or treated like a child, he'll resent you and not

want to help.

2. Men thrive on appreciation. Thank him for doing things,

even if it's things you've been doing for years. It will

make it more likely he'll do things again.

3. Don't demand that he do everything your way. If it's

not cleaned to your satisfaction, at least it's better

than it was before. If you make him feel inadequate, he's

not going to want to help at all.

4. Ask. We women often assume men know what they should be

doing. But most men weren't raised to clean, and most

don't really think of the house as their responsibility.

So if you want something done, ask him. Don't wait for

him to notice the piles he's left in the living room.

But ask him simply, without sounding judgmental, and

it's more likely to get done.

I have plenty of other tips in my book, but I hope

these are a starting point. Good luck!

From the August 2003 edition of To Love, Honor and Vacuum newsletter. Click here to subscribe.

Click here for more tips from issues raised in To Love, Honor and Vacuum.

Do you feel like you need to get more organized around the house?

Check out my book To Love, Honor and Vacuum, which gives you great ideas and tips to do just that--and relieve your stress in the process.