BOTTLE FEEDING: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am too. 

DEFENSE: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to 
let de children play outside. 

DROOLING: How teething babies wash their chins. 

DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. 

FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper 
distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster 

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't 
appreciate the strained carrots. 

FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him. 

GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful 
even though they're sure you're not raising them right. 

HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. 

IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid. 

INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they 
do everything we say. 

LOOK OUT!: What it's too late for your child to do by the time
you scream it 

PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own. 

PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: A contradiction in terms. 

PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies 
wearing dry shoes into it. 

SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours. 

STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling 
it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it 

STOREROOM: The distance required between the supermarket aisles 
so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything. 

TEMPER TANTRUMS: What you should keep to a minimum so as 
to not upset the children. 

TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing 
Superman jammies. 

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: When the baby's face turns red and she 
begins to make those familiar grunting noises. 

VERBAL: Able to whine in words 

WEAKER SEX: The kind you have after the kids have worn you out. 

WHODUNIT: None of the kids that live in your house. 

WHOOPS: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a 
sponge."

Click here for more funny things kids say.