(this has been going around the internet, apparently by an anonymous mother in the States. If anyone finds out who wrote, it, please e-mail me here. Thanks!)

• There is no such thing as child-proofing your house
• If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite
• A 4 years old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
• If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape
• It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room
• Baseballs make marks on ceilings
• You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on
• When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit
• A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
• The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan
• When you hear the toilet flush and the words Uh-oh, it's already too late
• Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it
• A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies
• A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day
• If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes
• A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep
• Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old
• Duplos will not
• Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence
• Super glue is forever
• McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know
• Ditto Tarzan
• No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water
• Pool filters do not like Jello
• VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do
• Garbage bags do not make good parachutes
• Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving
• You probably do not want to know what that odor is
• Always look in the oven before you turn it on
• Plastic toys do not like ovens
• The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5 minute response time
• The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy
• It will, however, make cats dizzy
• Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy
• Quiet does not necessarily mean don't worry
• A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life (unfortunately, mostly in retrospect)

Click here for more funny things kids say.